How can you enhance Physical and emotional Intimacy in your Marriage? First of all, I would like to define the two words Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy.
Physical Intimacy is a level where you get to understand each other through having sex, caressing, kissing, and expressing your emotions for one another. Sometimes words cannot say much, but feelings can. Physical Intimacy between couples is an act of exchanging feelings, including close companionship and being vulnerable in openness in emotions. Physical Intimacy is not just about sex; it can help create security and deepen our emotional and psychological connection.
This type of Intimacy is where the couple can understand each other’s feelings. You know when your spouse is hurting and needs to be consoled. You can enhance Emotional Intimacy through communication and understanding. You can express Emotional Intimacy in verbal and non-verbal communication. The degree of comfort, effectiveness, and mutual experience of closeness might indicate emotional Intimacy between individuals. Intimate communication is both expressed and implied.
Emotional Intimacy depends primarily on trust and the nature of the relationship, and the culture in which it is observed. Emotional Intimacy is different from sexual Intimacy. Sexual Intimacy can take place with or without emotional Intimacy. Emotional Intimacy is a psychological event that happens when trust levels and communication between two people are such that it fosters the mutual sharing of one another’s deepest selves.
5 Ways to Build Physical and emotional Intimacy in Marriage
1. Recognize that companionship is a Gift
One of the purposes of marriage is to have someone with who you can spend time together. “Companionship or fellowship.” When you recognize that companionship is a gift, it will help you seek ways to enjoy your spouse. It will also help you understand that sex is not a chore or obligation- instead is a beautiful opportunity to enjoy each other- putting your spouse needs and interest ahead of your own. —two becoming one flesh(Genesis 2:24). “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” Genesis 2:24-25 ESV
2. Communicate with your spouse
Thriving couples are willing to discuss what they like and dislike sexually and make adjustments to meet each other’s needs. Be open to sharing how you feel about the physical and emotional intimacy you share with your spouse. Also, be open to communicate outside the bedroom. “Intimacy doesn’t just happen in the bedroom. Intimacy is communication. Keep in touch throughout the day. Text messages and compliments- Intimacy is Fellowship. Spiritual bonding. Intimacy is caring. Communicating with your spouse will go a long way to enhancing your Physical and Emotional Intimacy. “You need to start the intimacy before the bedroom.”
3. Try Something New
Understand that building a healthy physical and emotional intimacy is a lifelong process that requires adaptability- Always be open to learning. Try different things that can help you and your spouse to connect more. You can go on dates, travel together, etc.
When my husband and I were making every effort to communicate with my husband emotionally, this was the time our children were younger- they are still young. Still, when they were a lot younger, we would go to a restaurant and order a cup of water and sit there to chat and connect. Emotional Intimacy is all about heart-to-heart conversation. If you are in a season where you have little kids, and it seems like you never really get to have time for your spouse, try something new, get a baby sister, put the kids to bed earlier, and find time to cuddle with your spouse.
4. Cultivate your Marriage.
How can you cultivate your marriage?
- Schedule a time with your spouse to connect emotionally and physically. Schedule sex, schedule to date, plan to have fun with each other. Plan to go out. You may see each other every day but feel like you miss each other because you don’t spend time together. Show genuine interest in listening to each other.
- Support your spouse’s passion. Your spouse may have different interests than you do, but learn to appreciate what is important to them.
- Don’t Stop Dating. Happy and healthy couples find time to date in their marriage. When you get married, dating does not end. Dating does not stop.
- Affirm your spouse with words. To cultivate your marriage, you need to learn to appreciate each other. You can appreciate your spouse when you affirm them for something they did right or even tell them you are proud of them.
- Treat your spouse as God treats you. God does not deal with us according to the multitude of our sins. He deals with us according to his riches in mercy. Your spouse is not perfect; your spouse has flaws and weaknesses, but so do you. Therefore, as God is gracious to you, so be gracious to your spouse.
- Grow with your spouse in God’s mercy and love. You know this is a part of my marriage that I have always struggled with, and I must admit that I still do sometimes. I am not perfect in treating my husband the way God wants me to treat them. But to get a satisfying marriage and Intimacy, you need to be able to forgive, love, and love again, even though sometimes it may hurt.
5. Guide your heart against comparisons
Lastly, guide your heart against comparison in marriage. With the social media age and things going on in our world today, I can see how it could be easy for us to drift away to begin to view and compare the snapshot of people’s marriages we see on social media to our Whole life.
It is a situation, and if we are going to improve and build our physical and emotional Intimacy, we must not compare our marriages with others. It is okay to seek wise counsel from either a mentor, a trusted friend, counselor, or pastor. But be careful to present your issues in such a way that it will not glorify God.
The primary reason marriage is significant to God is because it is part of His ordained plan to provide the world with a picture of His love for men and women. Marriage becomes the means for married couples to demonstrate their love for God. Wilson states: “The wedding ceremony is not an end in itself. In fact, marriage is not an end in itself.