Don’t crash your life because the world and things around you are crashing around you. Life is not perfect. No one person or thing can make life “perfect. Perfection is subjective, and what constitutes a “perfect” life will vary from person to person. For some people, a perfect life may involve achieving a certain status of success or financial strength. In contrast, it may include having solid relationships, a sense of purpose, and fulfillment for others.
In November 2016 and July 2017, I found myself fighting a battle that I didn’t believe existed; the “D” word. I had a Persistent feeling of sadness, emptiness, despair, or hopelessness.
I lost interest in activities that were once enjoyable, had no appetite for food, my sleep patterns were a mess, I felt as though life had sucked out of me, I had no energy to do things, and I was feeling fatigued. It will be fair to mention that I had no suicidal thoughts. Instead, I felt stuck in a tunnel with endless thoughts.
I struggled in my leadership roles in my family, ministry, and business, but as the leader, husband, and father in my home, I managed to show up.
My story may not be overwhelming as so many stories you may have heard in the past. However, 2013 was loaded with expectations and many exacting events.
We were expecting our first son in June, and everything was great. I was looking forward to seeing my parents care for and support my wife – Chandy, after the arrival of our son; suddenly, my excitement vanished as my 53-year-old mom went home to be with his Creator.
It was a painful experience for us as a family; a few months after the funeral, I relocated to the United States to be with my wife and our son, and life went on.
Then in 2015, I got a call from my youngest brother, who informed me that our brother, who was 29 years old, had just died. It was another tough one for us as a family. I started planning to travel for his funeral, but my father insisted that I should not worry about coming, considering the rate of insecurity in the country at that time.
We were still recovering and adjusting to the reality that our caring mom and Philip were no more when my dad, my icon of faith, went to be with the Lord also in 2016, losing three beautiful family members in a row within a space of 3 years.
During my dad’s funeral plans, I experienced provocation in many ways. These came from people and places I least expected. I was wounded, I saw myself engulfed with distress, and I was dealing with sorrow for the loss of my dad. The pain I allowed people to inflict on me and the pain I inflicted on myself. The pain was intense, and I didn’t know I had become very sick.
I struggled to get out of bed in the morning, struggled to read my bible, and couldn’t pray. Finally, I was empty and broken, overpowered by severe emotional pain, then I realized I was in big trouble.
I prayed several times this season, and it seemed God was very far; my wife reached out to a few people, a mentor, and even a member of my family, seeking help; it was a spiritual challenge that people could understand.
One faithful Friday, I was invited to preach at an event; I tried to decline the invitation, but the organizers kept pushing and pressing. Finally, I accepted the invitation to preach at the event last minute.
I asked God how I could be a source of encouragement to others when I am not encouraged.
About two hours before I left for the program, I sat at our dining table to prepare a message for the event, it was suddenly, I felt someone tap my shoulder from the back, and I heard a voice that said to me, “I HAVE HEALED YOU.”
I realized that something supernatural had happened to me. The headache I’d had for over six months left me, and I quickly got up and told my wife that God had healed me.
I slept like never before that night. I regained my peace from that day until I enjoyed God’s peace.
So here are a few life lessons I would like to drop with you.
1. Life is not perfect, and no attainment or achievement will perfect your life. Instead, we are all projects in the hand of our Creator. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself that would break you.
2. You have a role to play in ensuring that you are helpful to yourself and humanity.
3. Pain is not permanent in life. “For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever”! 2 Corinthians 4:17 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us a momentary glory that far outweighs them all.”
4. God can still use your mess to make a beautiful piece. You will be an encouragement to somebody else going through what you are dealing with today. So enjoy life. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” Romans 8:29.”
5. Life on earth is a temporary experience, so enjoy the gift of life. Celebrate those in your life, and remember to seek the eternal view of life.
Every external addition comes with temporary happiness; true joy and fulfillment come from inside you. You are wonderfully created, for
“out of your belly shall follow rivers of living waters” is a reference to the biblical passage John 7:38,
May God keep perfect peace as you navigate through life.
Matin Kalu
