Most of us run at the speed of light, wake up one day and realize, “Huh. I don’t feel very close to my spouse anymore.”
Romance isn’t just special days like your wedding anniversary or Valentine’s Day. You can do lots of simple little things every day to feel connected to the person you love. One way to continue to grow in love in a marriage relationship is to find the things that add spark to the relationship. It’s hard to keep the passion alive when we’re busy raising kids, paying off mortgages, and building careers. Romance is often the last thing on our minds after a long day working and driving the kids from one after-school activity to the next.
Let’s look at some of those little things you can do daily to romance your wife or husband.
Romance With Words
Let’s start with words. You can speak these words or even write them. In other words, tell your spouse that you love him or her every single day. But don’t just stop there. Talk about how much you appreciate what they do for you and your family and how good they look. Think of what you would like to hear, and make sure you verbalize what you appreciate about the other person. It doesn’t take much time or effort but makes a big difference in your spouse’s self-esteem and feel of self-worth. We all want to feel appreciated, and hearing those words will do just that.
If you don’t feel comfortable with this idea or not around your partner much during the day, share your romance with written words. Write a little love note and hide it in your partner’s lunch box, briefcase, or purse to find during the day. Shoot them a quick email or text to let them know you’re thinking about them. Or go to old school and write a love letter.
No matter how you do it, use your words, and keep the romance alive.
Romance With Acts of Kindness
Of course, it isn’t just about the words. You can also show your love and appreciation for the things you do for your partner. Pay attention throughout the day and see what you can do to make his or her life more comfortable. Get gas in the car or run to the grocery store to pick up some milk.
Surprise your spouse with coffee in bed in the morning, or send them off to take a nap or a long shower while you take care of the kids. Acts of kindness can be as simple as taking out the trash or as big as rearranging the living room to make room for her new treadmill. How big or small your shows of affection doesn’t matter, as long as you make it a point to do something special for your spouse each day.
Romance With Physical Affection
Last but not least, let’s not forget about physical affection. Kiss your spouse good morning and give him or her a quick hug while you’re both fixing coffee. Like the other shows of romance we talked about here, this doesn’t have to be a big deal. Yes, it’s nice if you can take 30 minutes to give your partner a long massage or if the two of you can sneak off to the bedroom for a while on a lazy Sunday afternoon. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Our days are busy, but there’s always time for a quick hug, a kiss, or holding hands while you walk to the car. And don’t forget about things as simple as snuggling on the couch while you watch TV after a long day of work and raising kids.
It is by no means an extensive list. Think of it more as some inspiration to help you get started. Give a few of these ideas a try, but feel free to come up with things to do that mean something to you and your spouse. Just make an effort to do something every day to keep the romance alive.
Simple Things You Can Do To Romance Your Spouse Every Day
Do It – Even When You Don’t Feel It.
Some days it’s a lot harder to be romantic than others. We all have lousy days and sometimes don’t feel like putting in the time and effort. Do something anyway. Marriage takes work, as does keeping the romance alive. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to go all out all the time. It’s ok if you are not up to the task. But, when that day turns into weeks and then months, it’s time to get to work and keep the love, passion, and romance alive.
No, it isn’t easy. It’s tough when you aren’t feeling it and aren’t getting a lot of support from your spouse, either. It’s hard work to rekindle the romance in a marriage worn down by the responsibilities and worries of everyday life.
You’re not going to fix everything in a day. Start by making small gestures. Get affectionate, make compliments, and show your partner how much this relationship means to you. Find time to have a conversation about the lack of romance and what the two of you can do together to light the spark.
Work your way up to more romance and, most importantly, spend quality time together. Feed the kids dinner first, and then sit down to a romantic candlelight dinner just for the two of you. Get Grandma to babysit so you both can go out to watch a movie together or plan a weekend getaway.
Even on days when you don’t particularly feel romantic, do something. Even if all you do is offer a kiss and a compliment. Yes, it’s hard when you’re feeling stressed, didn’t get enough sleep, and are upset with your spouse about forgetting to put the laundry in the dryer. We all have those days, but it’s important not to lose track of the big picture. You still love your spouse just as much. You’re just having a bad day.
Forcing yourself to be romantic when you do not feel it is well worth it. It shows your spouse you still care and still want to make him or her feel loved. And you might find that it will make you feel better and who knows; It might lead to something fun.
Get Clues from your Spouse
Let’s talk about what our loved ones want for a birthday gift, Christmas, or something special to commemorate a special anniversary or Valentine’s Day.
Perhaps you want to find that perfect gift, but you don’t know what that would be. The good news is that we’re all good at giving clues. Sometimes it’s done on purpose, but sometimes it’s done subconsciously. While you’re hunting for just the right idea, look for these clues.
Pay Attention When You’re Out And About
In the days and weeks leading up to the big day, pay attention when you’re out and about. Take a trip to the mall, head over to his favorite home improvement store, or go about your regular shopping chores together.
Take note of anything you come across that your loved ones admire. These are the things they like but don’t buy. It could be jewelry, tools, shoes, or specialty food. We all have things we would like to have but don’t end up getting for ourselves. Look for those items for your partner. They make the perfect gift. Go back later and grab the things they had their eye on that fit within your budget.
Take Note of Hints and Remarks Throughout The Year
If you have a little more time, pay attention to comments and remarks your spouse makes throughout the year. It could happen while you’re watching TV and the commercial for something they would enjoy comes up, or it could be while they are browsing through a magazine. Maybe it’s just something that comes up in conversation or something they see online, out and about, or something a friend has.
Keep a running list of these types of gift ideas. Once you start to write them down, you’ll quickly have a list of gift ideas perfect for just about any occasion. All it takes is paying attention to what they say and writing it down. Give it a try.
Raid Their Pinterest Boards
This next one is a little sneaky. When you’re looking for the perfect gift for your wife, could you take a look at their Pinterest boards? I know just about any woman I know has a Pinterest account and tends to collect images of things she loves and admires on there.
It may take a little bit of digging through her boards to find just the right gift, but you should, at the very least, get all sorts of beautiful inspirations. You’ll get ideas for more than just physical gift ideas. You’ll also get ideas for romantic getaways or a lovely meal you could prepare. That brings up another good point.
Sometimes It Isn’t A Thing.
That perfect gift doesn’t always have to be a physical thing. Sometimes it’s just quiet time together. Or a hot bubble bath and a bottle of wine.
Sometimes it’s tickets to a favorite concert or movie. Or a day trip to your all favorite town or shopping center. Or maybe it’s a romantic weekend away from the kids, the house, and responsibilities.
Pay attention and read the clues to surprise them with the perfect gift.