“Love is communion between two saintly souls, and prayer is a kind of spiritual intimacy or intercourse between you and the universe. Learn by prayer to feel that you are with God, and hence you will have the vision of God.”
What is Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage?
Spiritual intimacy is the level of affection where you and your spouse can communicate on spiritual matters. Spiritual intimacy can not occur without a relationship with God. You need to realize that you are the pastors and co-pastors of your home. Spiritual intimacy is a spiritual connection that brings a couple together in oneness/unity to align in God’s purpose or the purpose God has for their Marriage.
We are children of God first before coming together in marriage. So you need to be connected to God. First of all, we need to understand that we are spiritual beings, and God created us in this way.
The marriage website Marriage Today defines spiritual intimacy as “a sense of unity and mutual commitment to God’s purpose for our lives and marriage, along with respect for the special dreams of each other’s hearts. It is the greatest depth of intimacy we experience in marriage.”
Spiritual Intimacy the process of opening your hearts (the core aspects of yourselves) to each other as you open your hearts to the Lord. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 In mathematics equation, 1+1 =2, however, in the context of marriage 1+1 = 1.
3 ways to build Spiritual intimacy in Marriage
1. Spend time with God Together- Pray together – “Prayer doesn’t just give you a stronger faith. It can give you a stronger marriage”. Married couples who pray together are 90% more likely to report higher satisfaction in their sex lives than couples who do not pray together. ”But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:7 ESV “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ESV
2. Read the word of God together- When you read/study the word of God together as a couple, it can enhance your spiritual intimacy in your marriage. Pray for and pray with each other.
- Praying together Humbles You. – Ephesians 5:22- God tells us to submit to him and then to each other. Prayer is an act of humility. Prayer is an act of weakness. When we pray, we admit to God that we desperately need help. That we’re weak and needy and not in control of all things. That we are not self-sufficient. God is attracted to this act of humility. So in 1 Peter 5:6–7, he tells us: Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
- Praying together encourages vulnerability and grace- When we pray together as a couple, it helps us give grace to each other’s weaknesses. It builds vulnerability between the couple. They can hear each other’s hearts’ desires.
- Praying together helps align you to your marriage’s purpose- Praying together helps you revisit the purpose God brought you and your spouse together in marriage. It is always great to know that you have a purpose, but prayer will help you stay on track.
- Praying together confronts challenges and opposition in the relationship- the Bible says one shall chase a thousand, and two shall chase ten thousand because God sold our enemies to us (Deuteronomy 32:20). Imagine, if you make it a habit to pray together, if you have challenges and oppositions, you will be forced to confront it because you have to talk to God.
- Praying together increases trust and Intimacy- Prayer helps build trust and intimacy in your relationship.
3. Connect with other godly couples through Marriage conferences/ small groups in church etc
- Revitalization/practical tools to be intentional in your relationship with your spouse
- Focus: it redirects your focus to what is important: the kingdom of God and your spouse.
- You make it a priority to attend at least one marriage conference in a year.
You need to continue to grow in your spiritual intimacy with God being in the center.
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